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Punography

Journal Entry: Tue Jun 12, 2012, 8:07 PM


When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the cr�pes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

~.~.<.~.>.~.~

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
(Alfred Pennyworth, The Dark Knight)

~.~.<.~.>.~.~

"What? He'll be fine, we're in a hospital." (after shooting a guy in the hand)
(Huntress, DC Comics)

~.~.<.~.>.~.~

Harry (referring to crystal ball): See anything yet?  
Ron: Yeah, there's a burn mark on this table.

~.~.<.~.>.~.~

Trelawney: Does anyone need help interpreting the portents within their Orb?  
Ron: I don't need any help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.

CSS by Earldense
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: StarStruck - Hero
  • Reading: Tropes
  • Watching: Cinderella Man (sorta)
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Just finished eating some stroganoff.
  • Drinking: Water

deviantID

lokobookworm95
Siazi
United States
The train station is where all the trains stop.
The bus station is where all the buses stop.
This is my work station.

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Sarcasm. Just another service that I offer.

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'Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.'
-Jack Handey

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"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live, taking the form of readiness to die."
-G. K. Chesterton

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"There are two great tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
–George Bernard Shaw

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"Let us live!
Let us love!
Let us share the deepest secrets of our souls!
You first."
–Anonymous

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"Sometimes, after finishing a good book, you carry it around with you, everywhere you go, for months, just because you can't bear to part with it."
-Markus Zusak

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“Heroes are not Born, they’re Cornered.”
-Jim Belushi

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"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."
-Dorothy Parker

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Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
-Unknown

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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

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I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.
-Og Mandino

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The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness.
-Nancy Mitford

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Tragedy and comedy are but two aspects of what is real, and whether we see the tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective.
-Arnold Beisser

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All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
-Edmund Burke

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Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
-Chinese Proverb

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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx

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"Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster.
And if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you"
-Nietzsche

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"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
-Mark Twain

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"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-Douglas Adams

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Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake.
-Terry Pratchett

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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
-Bill Watterson

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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
-Johnny Carson

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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
-George Burns

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Never tell people how to do things: Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
-George S. Patton

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If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-Paul Beatly

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There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.
–Unknown

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When it comes down to it, we all just want to be loved.
-Jamie Yellin

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One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.
-Sam Levenson

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Dreams are only realities that are not yet.
–L. Polk

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Fashion ignores safety, comfort, and common sense. A guaranteed attractant for millions of vacuous minds.
-Duane Alan Hahn

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Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
-Mohandas Gandhi

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"Well behaved women seldom make history."
-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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"Beware the fury of a patient man."
-John Dryden

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It is sometimes the height of wisdom to feign stupidity.
-Cato the Elder

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I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
-Abraham Lincoln

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"There's always a third way, and it's not a combination of the other two ways. It's a different way."
-David Carradine

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I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. -J.D. Salinger

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It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. -Mark Twain

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"Whatever you are, be a good one."
-Abraham Lincoln

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:iconnatalia1417:
Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for faving!
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Thanks for the fave!
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Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for faving!
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You're welcome!
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Amaltheea Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
thanks for the fav :bow:
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
You're welcome!
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betsys Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hello thank you very much for the fave here: [link] :hug:
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
You're welcome! It's an adorable pic.
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:iconnatalia1417:
Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave! =D
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
You're welcome!
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Seabit Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave on "The Red String of Fate"! :glomp:
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
You're welcome!
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Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, thanks for all the faves!!
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You're welcome!
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Thanks for the fav!
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You're welcome!
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Whisperwings Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much for adding my Camp Half Blood cabin concepts to your favorites~!! :icongwompplz:
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:iconlokobookworm95:
lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
You're welcome!! They're really cool, and I like how you've drawn the cabins. Keep up the good work!
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Gi1997 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012   Writer
Thanks for the fave!! :hug:
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:iconlokobookworm95:
lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
You're welcome!
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Natalia1417 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the faves!
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
You're welcome!
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The-Grey-Panther Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:! :meow:
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lokobookworm95 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012
You're welcome!
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